SCIENTISTS have discovered that the extinction of the dinosaurs was caused by their continuous election of conservative governments.
The Cretaceous-Paleogene extinction, which took place 66 million years ago, has been blamed on an asteroid but was actually caused by between 12 and 15 years of Tory government.
Archaeologist Joseph Turner explained: “The discovery of Torysaurus inutilis, a kind of bloated T-rex without the ability to feed itself, led to a new theory of extinction.
“These dinosaurs ruled a society based on a self-destructive form of democracy, in which velociraptors and brotosaurs were persuaded through the dominance of prehistoric media to continually back them against their own economic interests.
“The ruling elite made things worse, using up all resources and leaving those who supported them unable to warm themselves or travel to other regions but still vote Tory for fear of what would happen if they didn’t.
“The last of the species reigned supreme, but with no rivals, no possible mates, and arms too short to perform any function, caused the extinction of all other dinosaurs out of selfish, idiotic greed. The real asteroid was shitty.
“I don’t think there’s too much to learn from this. We’re probably fine to continue as we are.”